PARENTING STYLES

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Most people know the definition of the word authoritative as being commanding, assertive or assured and it often has a negative connotation. However, the other definition means reliable, dependable, trustworthy and I would like to talk specifically about the authoritative parenting style.

In the late 60s, a psychologist called Diana Baumrind introduced the authoritative parenting style which is widely seen as the most effective style of parenting. An authoritative parent listens to their children, encourages their independence, makes them understand the consequences of their behavior and expects them to learn from their mistakes. They express warmth and nurturance, allow them to express their opinions, encourage them to discuss options, and they administer fair and consistent discipline.

In other words as a parent you have to be well balanced in how you treat your children. You do not want to punish them to the point that they can’t approach you when they need advice and neither can you back off to the point you become negligent and they run wild.

This is what I learned from a biblical point of view.

1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”

As an authoritative parent God hears us, He is attentive to our every need, regardless of how small they are. He pays attention to everything about us, and to every word that comes out of our mouth. Therefore, as his children we must be brave enough to ask Him for what we need.

John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

As children of God we are very special in His eyes. We have not only been called to Him but chosen by Him and He encourages us to be dependent on the Holy Spirit and not dependent on man. God’s expectation of us is to trust and believe in him. He expects that if we trust in him then we will be successful in every venture we undertake. The same way a parent extends forgiveness, God does the same, as long as you are truly repentant.

Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

God extends an invitation to us to come and express our opinion and discuss options with him. He wants us to draw near to him with everything that we’ve got and let him work in and through us. God is a loving and nurturing parent. He wants to express his love for us in lots of ways. He wants us to come and rest in his presence, basking in his unfailing love.

My mother died when I was too young to get to know her and because I had to go to school far away I didn’t live with my father for a very long period of time so was raised by my sister. My father was one of the kindest men I ever knew and even though I did not live in the traditional two parent home, God gave me comfort during difficult moments and courage in times I felt afraid.

Therfore, if you are one of those people who feel “left out” because you did not have a parent or guardian to raise you then give God a chance because He knows what is best for you.

Sosasmama

Reference

Review of authoritative parenting style was retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-authoritative-parenting-2794956

TRUST IN THE LORD

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“There is victory in accomplishing the little things”

That’s the mantra I tell myself in moments I feel life is getting a bit stressful. It allows me to focus on one thing at a time and not worry obsessively about the future. I’ve learned also that there is nothing truly special I need to do to talk to God. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’ve done but anyone can talk to God at anytime. Sometimes I think that is the part that scares people the most. They think that they will lose their independence and become a ‘religious freak’ when it’s the complete opposite. I once had those thoughts but I have them no more.

I have chosen to put my faith in God so I don’t have to worry or fear about little things because He will work through me exactly as I am.

The truth is I can’t fix everything and neither do I have an answer for everything. When my husband and I decided to start this blog we did it purely out of faith in the hope that we can encourage one or two people and whatever comes of it is only an added bonus but in life it’s always good to simply do what you love.

For those of you who may not understand what it means to have a relationship with Jesus just take the simple steps first in getting to know him. Sometimes even five minutes everyday could spark that desire to know him better. Once you know what the word of God says about you, and understand His love for you, your confidence will begin to grow, and you then begin to see yourself the way God sees you so you slowly build that unshakeable trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

“Trust in the Lord with ALL your HEART and lean not on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways aknowledge/submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Dear God, I pray for my new friends this evening, and ask that you will make their hearts receptive to what you will have your Holy Spirit put into them as they learn to completely trust in You. That you will help them keep their focus on you and not be moved by the things happening around them. Lord I pray especially for single parents who may sometimes feel that they are doing things alone. I pray that as you have been my pillar, you will hold them up too and let them know that they are not alone, and that you know them by name. That you alone can, and will meet their every need.- Amen.

Thank you for reading, and for your encouraging comments.

Sosasmama.

THE PURSUIT OF GOD

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My daughter is the most precious person to me. She has witnessed my ups and downs more than anyone else and even though she is ten she has the maturity of an adult. Last summer I went to Colorado for a week to complete my residency and even though I spoke to my husband (then boy friend)) frequently, I longed to get a call from my daughter without being the one to always call and check up on her. Anyway, after a week I got back and went to pick her up from her friend’s house and on the ride back home I told her how I missed her and I was upset that she didn’t even acknowledge that she missed me and it hurt me. Here I was trying to guilt trip my own daughter. Shame! Shame! Instead of ignoring me or pretending like she had missed me to make it up, she sat up straight in her chair and said, “Mom I’m sorry I didn’t miss you as much as you wanted me to.” There was that maturity once more kicking in at the most unexpected time and I had to stay silent and ponder her words all the way home.

There will come a time when she will have to leave home and when that time comes I will be sad but confident that she can take care of herself.  But am I not just like my little girl in the presence of God? I am guilty of becoming too familiar with God that I do not seek him daily. I only do it when I feel ike it. I’m so comfortable with God that I do not pursue him anymore. We only approach God when we need him to do something for us because after all he is the great supplier of what we want!

Children will be children, it’s my responsibility as a parent to take care of my daughter but on that day, I feel God was communicating something very important to me about my relationship with him. I needed to search my heart and not become so complacent. Was I just reaching out to God for the blessings or seeking him to have a relationship with him. God delights in our presence in all that we do no matter how small it may seem. It doesn’t have to be so grand but simply acknowledging that “God. I know you love me. I know you want what is best for me. Guide me through this day.”

Psalm 14:2

“The Lord looks down from Heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God.”

I pray that as you go about your week may God fill you with the desire to Pursue him and all that he is in Jesus name.

Sosasmama

THIS MEANS WAR!

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I know I’m not the only one but there are times that the pastor’s message on Sunday cuts deeper and is more relatable than other times. I have learned that these are the times God is communicating something specific about my life and I need to value that message even more. To continue the theme from last night, as believers we are constantly at war and fighting unseen battles. Jesus certainly doesn’t mean that we should be nervous or on edge constantly, but that we should be aware and not ignorant of real spiritual threats that have serious consequences if we do not heed his advice.

1 Peter 5:8-9 RSV

“Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 RESISIT him, firm in your FAITH…

We are not prey but the predators. We are not the hunted but the hunter. We are mighty warriors, fully equipped with all that we need to take down the enemy who is constantly at war with us to steal our joy make us feel miserable, hate ourselves and question or doubt God’s promises for us.

I am constantly reminded that my fight is not against what I see but against the unseen.

So dear Lord, today as I am reminded about my fight, I thank you that the battle has already been won. I thank you for your grace that enables me to keep keeping on when I feel like giving up. I ask that your word will continue to be a constant reminder for me that anything happening in the present or future will not be surprise but part of your will.

I pray also for my friends who will read this today and that they too will come to find solace in your word, knowing that you are holding us all up. We have all been equipped for the battle before us. We thank you dear Lord that victory is ours in Jesus name.

Rachel aka Sosasmama.